I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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