You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
