i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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