so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
