did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize