If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
