why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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