I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
