what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
