Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
