if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
