New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
