Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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