bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
