I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
