I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
