Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize