just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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