is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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