the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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