I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
