What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
