I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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