so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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