Duck Duck Cougar?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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