and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
