Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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