she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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