Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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