whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
