It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
