No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i will never coherently bang her
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
