Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
