Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
