For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
