Do you still have your period?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
