he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
