so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize