Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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