He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
splinters make it hard to masturbate
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
