with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
