guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
