Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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