the new term for farting is butt boxing.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
