So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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