It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
