Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
