Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
