I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
