Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize