My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
