I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
