giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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