that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently the secret to your success is patron
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
