Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
