ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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