this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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