I can tuck mytits in my pants
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
