any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
