He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
