Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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